Fight Me
by Candaru
Summary: Kai is always picking a fight, even over the most insignificant things. The white ninja decides to use his newfound analytical skills to figure out why. Set S2-ish, possibly post S2. Rated T for... I don't even know anymore, I'm just rating T to be safe. NO SLASH. (To repeat: THIS IS NOT SHIPPING.)
1. A Fiery Fighter

(A/N: PLEASE READ! Ughhh okay so I have a few important things I gotta clear up; I'll hit most of them after the chapter, but first of all I HAVE to get this one disclaimer out: THIS IS NOT A SHIP FIC. THERE IS NO SLASH HERE. Not to risk spoiling too much, but there's going to be a *lot* of ~platonic fluff~ in the third [final] chapter. If you don't think you can read that without interpreting it romantically/sexually, please don't read the fic. Thank you! Now I'll stop taking up your time and get to the actual writing.)

—

"WHO TOOK THE LAST CHOCOLATE-CHIP COOKIE?!"

I turned my body slightly to see a fiery haired, fiery tempered ninja of fire looking like he was ready to burn the place down. Not incredibly surprising.

"SERIOUSLY, WHO TOOK IT? I WILL FIGHT YOU. I WILL FIGHT YOU RIGHT NOW," he continued, his eyes burning with anger.

"For the last time, NONE of us were in the kitchen when it went missing. If you'd just let this go—" Jay started, unwisely letting himself get distracted from our chess game. Cole, who was watching, immediately joined him in his criticism.

"Jay is right, Kai," he said. "You've been going on about this way too long."

"Oh, really?" the hothead said, putting his hands on his hips. His scowling expression shifted into a smirk. "Seems to me like whoever's to blame is just scared of being found out."

Having already endured many long, similar arguments, I debated quietly with myself for a few minutes whether or not to say anything on the matter, but by the time I'd made up my mind, the others were already knee-deep in argument.

"I am _not_ scared of fighting you!" Jay yelled.

"Oh really? Then why are you so hesitant to duel? I KNOW you're guilty!" Kai shouted back.

"Not _everything_ has to be resolved with a fight, Kai!" Cole said angrily. "And I LOVE to fight, so that's saying a lot!"

"Then _you_ shouldn't have a problem with me!" Kai retorted. I caught a hint of frustration in his voice, as if he legitimately wanted one of the boys to start brawling with him, which he probably did. I briefly wondered why. I'd never understood why people would fight over such trivial matters— then again, I'd never understood a lot of things about people. There were plenty of customs and behaviors that everybody else seemed perfectly accustomed to which had always come across to me as foreign. But at least after all these years, I finally knew _why_ I didn't understand so much. The traditions of human behavior didn't all come naturally to me. Suddenly— perhaps because I was standing too close to Jay— a bolt of inspiration struck.

 _I'm an android, right? That means my analytical skills are higher than those of even an above average human… what if I could use them to figure out why my teammates act the way they do?_

I'd never tried analyzing _people_ the same way I analyzed problems or battle tactics, but the idea wasn't inconceivable— Wu already pretty much did the same thing to an extent, right? He was always talking about "knowing thy enemy as well as thyself" and "walking a mile in someone else's shoes." The argument raged on, but for the time being, I decided to stay quiet and watch instead of getting involved. I kept my eyes peeled for any helpful information— I didn't really know what I was looking for, but I suppose I was "playing detective," so to speak.

"If you're innocent…"

"It's not ABOUT whether or not I'm innocent!"

"That's something a guilty person would say!"

"It's been over THREE HOURS since that cookie went missing, let it go!"

Arguments flew left and right, and Kai made it clear plenty of times that he'd rather have been throwing punches. Despite the fact that I could've easily broken the fight up, I forced myself to remain silent and out of the debate.

 _Focus, Zane. Right now, you're analyzing._

I decided to keep a mental list of the things I noticed, to help fight the temptation to jump into the conversation. _Jay plays with his bandana when he's threatened directly. Cole leaps to Jay's defense quicker than he leaps to his own. When two people start talking at once, they both get louder as if that's somehow going to prove their point._ I found the details fascinating, and soon it wasn't difficult to keep myself an observer rather than a debater.

That's when things started to get interesting. To my surprise, while I was specifically focused on Kai for a period of time, my little game of detective actually started to _work_. That is to say, I began picking up on little details about the quarrel that… well, that just didn't quite match up. I couldn't put my finger on it, but something about Kai was off. _His tone shifts frequently between angry and teasing. Unlike the others, he occasionally hesitates for a split second before shouting his next point. He makes "fighting motions" more than is necessary to emphasize the fact that he wants to duel. And he seems less focused on proving who the suspect is than convincing them to fight him._ Not any one thing in particular would have bothered me, but as a whole, Kai was just… off. There was something about him that I hadn't figured out yet— and once I realized that there was an unsolved mystery, I _had_ to find out the answer.

"I'll fight you."

The argument dropped dead and all three heads spun around to look at me. I sat, perfectly calmly, apparently having just announced that Jay and Nya had actually gotten together (or something equally as unbelievable).

"Um… _Zane_ just said that, right?" Jay asked in a half-whisper. Kai and Cole looked thrown off by my suggestion, too, but Kai recovered more quickly than the former two.

"So it was _you_ who took the last cookie, huh?" Kai asked, folding his arms but not sounding nearly as cross as earlier. "Glad to see _somebody_ here doesn't have trouble admitting when they're guilty." He put up his fists in a fighting stance. "C'mon, let's go. Me and you. Face your punishment like a man."

I reached out a hand and gently lowered his fists. I noted that he froze up a little at the unexpected non-fighting motion.

"I did not take the final confectionary treat," I said cooly, "Nor am I prepared to do battle at the moment. I will, however, be willing to test your strength against my own later tonight, given that there is proper structure to the duel."

Kai hesitated and shifted slightly uncomfortably. "But, like…still an _actual_ fight, right? I don't want to be pushed into one of your fancy mind games," he said, making odd hand motions on the words 'fancy mind games' (which Jay snickered at).

I shook my head. "No, I am not speaking of a logic puzzle, although I do still think you would benefit from trying one at some point."

"Oh okay, good," Kai said, smirking, "then I'll kick your butt."

"I shall be prepared at 8:30," I said calmly.

"Fine by me. I'm going to go see if Nya or Lloyd took the last cookie. If it's my sister, I swear…" With that, he waved me off with a hand motion and left the room. Jay and Cole looked at me, dumbfounded.

"What was _that!?"_ asked Jay.

"Yea, you're like, the most peaceful one out of all of us! How come you offered to fight him?" Cole added. "Especially if you aren't even to blame for Kai's behavior."

I felt a small smile sneak onto my face. "I do not know what you are talking about," I said, then added, "I am going to go find Nya. I believe she may have some information that will be of use to me." I got up to leave as well, very proud of my own playful behavior. I'd never understood why Nya kept her identity as Samurai X a secret, but now I was starting to see the appeal in having a secret mission.

"Hey, wait!" Jay called before I got too far, "We still need to finish our chess game!"

I stopped, turned around, walked back to the table, and moved one piece on the board.

"Checkmate," I said cheerfully. Then I left the duo to their gaping while I left to search for Nya.

—

(A/N: I gotta be honest, I'm not thrilled with this chapter... Or the next one. But I can't post the fic without them and I've done all the editing that I can so this is what's here, I guess. Hope it's at least still enjoyable. l"D Oh, and also a disclaimer about the cover of this fic: it's really misleading. As are the first two chapters. As much as I like the "detective Zane" thing I accidentally came up with, it's not *supposed* to be the driving force of the fic. Guess that's what happens when you switch the POV to the less emotional character so that you don't die from embarrassment while writing platonic fluff… oh well. X'P Also, if you made it this far, I'm very impressed. I'll try not to have such long notes for the other chapters. *Hands you a cookie for putting up with me*)


	2. Gathering Info

_Knock, knock._

…

 _Knock knock knock._

"Nya?" I called. There was a brief pause, and then the door in front of me swung open. Nya looked pleasantly surprised, and invited me into her room with a polite hand gesture.

"Oh, hey, Zane! Sorry I didn't answer the door right away. I thought you were my brother." She rolled her eyes. "He's been acting bat-crazy all day, even compared to his normal behavior."

"Yes," I said, smiling, "I'm aware. That is actually what I am here to talk to you about, if it's not too much trouble."

"Yea, sure," she said, motioning for me to sit next to her on her bed. I was fairly certain I was the only ninja she let near her stuff— but given the reckless and usually destructive behavior of the others, _that_ wasn't really something that needed to undergo investigation. "What do you need to know?"

I folded my hands in my lap, preparing to take mental notes. "I'm undergoing a sort of investigation, if that makes sense. I'm attempting to use my analytical skills to discover the reasons behind one of my team members' odd behaviors."

Nya burst out laughing, but not in an unkind way. "You're trying to figure out why Kai is so weird? Good luck. Let me know if you find an answer to the puzzle _I've_ been trying to solve for years."

I nodded. "That's why I came to you, as opposed to one of the others. You've known Kai your whole life. I presume you must have some information on him."

Nya shrugged. "Well, sure. Just tell me what you need to know."

"All right. First," I said, hesitating slightly— I knew my remark was a touchy subject, but it was one that needed to be addressed— "Can you tell my anything about… your parents? Or, their relationship with Kai, specifically." I held my breath, suddenly a little worried that I'd gone too far.

Nya looked pained, but not as badly as Kai did anytime someone brought up their parents. "To be honest," she said, "I didn't know them very well. I was _really_ little when they disappeared. I do know Kai was close with Dad, though." She paused. "Actually, he was close with Mom, too— both of us were. But he spent more time with Dad, watching him make weapons and stuff…"

I nodded, not wanting to prod her too much. "I see. Is there anything specific that you remember about their relationship? Anything that might cause him to act like… well, like he's been acting today?"

She shook her head. "We weren't even really old enough to argue with our parents yet. I don't have any bad memories of them. It's just the absence of them that hurts."

After a pause, she continued. "I don't remember anything out of the ordinary about them, which honestly frustrates me more than if I did. At least then I'd know WHY they left." She coughed. "Dad was a teaser, from what Kai's told me, and as well as showing Kai how to smith— or at least, trying to— he showed him all the normal stuff dads show their kids. He taught him how to throw and catch a ball, and they play-wrestled all the time… he apparently tried teaching him how to fish, but I guess Kai never got the hang of that one," she laughed. "Mom was pretty normal, too. She hugged us a lot and kissed us good-night and told us bedtime stories." Nya looked down and I detected an unusual amount of light shining off of her eyes. I changed the topic quickly before any tears could be shed.

"So… has Kai always been this way?" I asked.

Nya smiled slightly and wiped her eyes. "A hotheaded, arrogant ball of fire? Yup. All his life."

"No… not that," I said, although I made a mental note of her affirmation, anyway. "I mean, has he always been so eager to pick out a fight?"

"Yea, he—" Nya started, then suddenly paused and frowned. "Actually, now that you mention it… no, not exactly. I mean, he'd threaten the other village kids if they hung around the shop too long, but before his ninja training he was actually a lot less violent. Not any less angry— maybe even more so— but definitely less violent compared to how he is now."

I felt my detective persona kick into high gear. "So— he hasn't always been this quick to initiate a fight over an insignificant matter?"

"No, not really. Although he's definitely always been over-protective, especially over me, so he'd fight someone if he thought they were going to hurt me."

"That makes sense," I said. I pondered the new information carefully: I had a feeling that the apparent change in behavior was important. "Are there any other defining qualities you can think of that Kai has only possessed since his training with Wu started?"

"Um…" Nya thought hard. "Well, he's definitely more responsible, and obviously he can do Spinjitzu and stuff. But both of those things kinda come with the job of being a ninja."

I nodded. "I think that is enough information for me to go off of for now. Thank you, Nya." I stood up and bowed my head politely— a non-verbal cue I'd learned to use when saying 'thank you' to show sincerity— and left the room, closing the door gently behind me.

—

(A/N: Just so y'all know, the next chapter is the longest. I'm glad some people are enjoying this story! :D)


	3. A Smiter At Heart

It was 8:32, exactly two minutes past the agreed upon time for my duel with Kai. I looked around my room feeling anxious, or as close to anxious as I could get. The group had decided earlier to have a "team bonding" night (in other words, our excuse to get Sensei Wu to allow us to watch movies) at 9:00, so the red ninja was _kind_ of running on limited time. Besides, Jay and Cole had gone out to rent the movie and buy snacks, and Lloyd and Nya were helping Wu set up his new meditation set, so it was the perfect time to confront Kai privately.

I perked up as I heard footsteps approaching; Kai sauntered into my room with a cocky grin on his face and mischief in his eyes.

"Sorry I'm late," he said, sounding not sorry at all. "Wu found out that we were gonna duel and I had to convince him it was just training and not, you know, a death match or something." He scoffed at his minor inconvenience and then put up his fists in a fighting stance.

 _Okay,_ I thought, _I've done the investigation and I've thought through all the evidence. Now it's time to start questioning the culprit._

"Actually," I started, repeating the speech I had been rehearsing to myself for the past few hours, "I don't think you _want_ to fight."

"Uh, no offense, but do you have a screw loose? I ain't scared— I'm going to kick your butt," he laughed, taking my comment as a taunt.

"No," I replied cooly, "I'm in perfectly good condition. I think _you,_ however, have a problem."

"Yea, I have a problem. You're standing here chit-chatting, and I want to FIGHT," he said, frowning. Then, to prove his point, he swung a left hook in my direction. I swiftly dodged it and retaliated with a punch of my own, figuring he might be more responsive if fighting while talking.

"Precisely. But I do not think the simple matter of the missing cookie is _why_ you want to fight. That is, I do not believe justice is your final goal," I said, avoiding a sloppily executed kick. Kai hesitated for a moment (giving me a chance to swing at him, although he blocked me), and then admitted:

"Okay, fine, _Sherlock,_ it's not about the cookie. I just wanted a reason to fight someone 'cuz I'm better than everyone here and I like to show off. Happy?" he asked, going for a full-on lunge, which I, as usual, was able to dodge.

Though I didn't want to admit it, his statement threw me for a loop. My own theory, up until that point, had been rather similar to what he'd just confessed— only I knew for a FACT from the way he spoke that his "confession" had been a _lie._ In other words, my theory was wrong— and I was going to have to figure out another one before the culprit left the room. Something told me Kai might start avoiding me now that I'd let on that I was suspicious of his behavior.

Noticing that I was distracted, Kai seized the opportunity and managed to actually land a blow to my side. I stumbled back a little, but swung back immediately to prove that I was okay. The little detective in the back of my mind ran around frantically, trying to figure out what I had missed. How could my assumption have been faulty? Kai _had_ to be looking for SOME kind of approval. Why else would he initiate so many fights, if they weren't caused by anger? Why else would he feel the need to win all the time?

Taking a step back, I dodged another one of Kai's poorly-planned full-on attacks, and hit him with the front of my arm as he spiraled past me. It amused me that his moves were so predictable— but though Kai missed me by a mile, a critical piece of information I'd overlooked suddenly hit me like a truck.

Kai wasn't _trying_ to win.

The tiny metaphorical detective (which I'd grown a bit too fond of imagining) started collecting all the mental memos I'd been taking on Kai and shuffling through them like a writer who hoarded resources.

 _Kai flirts with any girl he sees, but seems insecure about it._

 _Kai doesn't care about 'mind games'— he only wants to brawl._

 _Kai's dad play-wrestled him as a kid._

All of these things seemed rather insignificant on their own, but the detective in me was realizing that perhaps there was an underlying common theme between them. While my literal self dodged and blocked a ridiculous number of hooks and jabs, my figurative self ran around digging up old information that suddenly seemed like it might be of use.

 _Kai never tries to start pointless fights with strangers— only those he feels comfortable with._

 _Kai ruffles Lloyd's hair to tease him._

 _Kai hugs his sister whenever she does something nice for him._

I let out a full-strength punch which the red ninja foolishly tried to block. He flinched at the force that hit his palm, but he stepped backwards and shook it off, recovering rather quickly. It was an amateur mistake to try blocking such a punch. Suddenly, I realized my own oversight, and the final piece of evidence clicked into place.

 _Kai isn't dodging ANY of my attacks— he's only blocking._

 _Wait— Kai doesn't even care if he's the block is successful or not._

 _Kai just wants my hits to make contact._

"Ah. You say you fight to show off, but t _hat,_ my friend," I said, breaking the several minute silence, "is where you're lying. It is not merely proving your skills or your worth which spurs you into battle."

Kai opened his mouth slightly to disagree, but with one smooth, swift motion, I reached out and grabbed his chest directly where his heart was— not just the cloth of the gi, but his actual chest. Whatever he'd been about to say went out with a gasp for air as I let him go. He stumbled and keeled over, and his hands shot over the spot where I'd grabbed him. He was still standing, but he was visibly weaker than before.

"Wh—" he managed to get out once he caught his breath. "What was that? G-grabs aren't a legal training move!" He lifted his head a little and dared to look me in the eye, trying to assert confidence and anger, but it was clearly a ruse.

"Would you like me to stop, then?" I asked, aware of the fact that he was probably about to swing at me again to get back his mojo.

"No, but—" he started. His hand began to ball into a fist, but as I had already predicted the motion, he had no time to raise it. Swiftly, I grabbed both of the boy's wrists and slammed him against the wall, keeping myself at a slight distance.

"Exactly. You do not really care how or where you are hit, so long as the hit makes contact— and as long as it's from someone you trust," I said in an icy voice. I stepped closer as the detective in me leaned back in his chair.

"You aren't in need of approval, are you, Kai?" I asked, lowering my voice a fair bit. My words were slow and deliberate, like the detectives of murder mystery shows when they finally bring the criminals' motives to light. Despite myself, I felt one corner of my mouth upturn in victory. "You're in need of physical touch. And you're finding very roundabout ways to obtain it."

"Th-that's not— _!"_ Kai started trying to argue, but to disprove his point I let go of one of his wrists and grabbed his face gently. As before, he went breathless and was rendered mute for several seconds— and this time, I _didn't_ let go. His face started turning red as I talked.

"When you were little," I said, my voice almost at a whisper now, "Your father play-wrestled with you, no? And from what Nya's told me, your mother was a highly tactile person." As I spoke, I slowly ran my hand up the boy's face and through his hair. One of his arms was now free, so if he'd wished to block the motion, he could have done so easily. Instead, he shivered at the motion but remained in place, gazing up into my eyes with something that almost resembled fear.

"You're tactile, too. But for whatever reason, _you_ don't like to admit it." I frowned and leaned in a little closer. My hand now rested on the back of Kai's head, which let me prevent him from turning away. His face grew redder the more I talked, but he didn't break eye contact with me.

"I don't know if it's considered a sign of weakness to have a desire for physical touch. Personally, my father has always been a tactile man, so I don't have a problem with it. I don't understand why it would be considered a negative trait— then again, I don't understand many things about society. But I _do_ understand this." I leaned forward so my forehead pressed against Kai's and murmured gently, as if trying not to scare off a wild animal. " _This_ is something that you crave… and you're going to unhealthy lengths to avoid admitting that you're _starving_ for it."

Unexpectedly— but perhaps not surprisingly— the boy's eyes started to fill with tears. He blinked them away and tried to talk, but his voice was raspy and shaky.

"I— d-don't—" he tried to argue, but didn't seem to know how to finish his thought. He closed his eyes, pushing tears down his face. I released his other wrist from the wall and slowly ran my hand up his back, causing his entire body to tremble helplessly under my touch. In all the time I'd known Kai, he had never appeared frail to me. But now, tears streaming down his cheeks and unable to pull himself away from my grasp, he almost seemed to resemble a fragile doll. Eyes still closed, he suddenly resigned himself to something. In the quietest voice I'd ever heard him use, he managed to whisper:

"P-please… _help me..."_

Satisfied with his admittance of his flaw and his need for help, I suddenly pulled his entire body against mine into a proper hug. He was stunned still by the motion at first, and then wrapped his arms around my torso and buried his face into my shoulder. We stood there for a long time. Neither of us spoke for several minutes, but his breathing was so ragged that it was audible. I clung to him tightly, occasionally adjusting the position of my hands on his back, but mostly just keeping his body pressed against my own. I closed my eyes, and was unexpectedly hit with a strong wave of nostalgia. Nostalgia for memories long forgotten, of when I was young and my father would ruffle his hands through my hair and hold me close while we listened to the rainfall. Of when my beloved creator would cradle me in his lap to read me stories about the outside world. Of when the still-young doctor would tuck me into bed each night and kiss me on the forehead before powering me down to rest. I'd never even considered that those times were really all that long ago, but now… I kept my eyes shut and tried not to think about it, instead focusing on the soft cloth of Kai's gi and the scent of cinnamon emanating from his hair. In time, his ragged breathing finally started to even out into a regular pattern. His chest rose and fell against mine, and he kept his arms wrapped around me as if he were holding on for dear life.

After a long while, I dared to open my eyes to read the clock on the wall. 8:55, it said. Gingerly, I pulled away from the boy, moving my hands to his shoulders as I did so.

"Are you going to be okay?" I asked gently. Kai looked up at me with tear-stained eyes and nodded meekly. I was almost startled at the shift in his appearance; his physique was technically the same, but everything about him looked… _different_. His brown eyes looked larger from the light reflecting off of his tears, his hair was misshaped from where I'd run my hands through it, and his gi was slightly wrinkled. But moreover, his body language— the more important aspects of an appearance, in my opinion— had completely changed as well: he no longer stood up tall with all his weight shifted onto one foot, his chest wasn't puffed out in prideful arrogance, and instead of standing a distance away or finding a high ground to cover our slight height difference, he seemed perfectly content to stare up an inch or so in order to look me in the eyes.

"I-I'll join the group in a few minutes," he mumbled. I think I actually felt my heart skip a beat out of surprise; his voice seemed to have changed somehow, too. He almost sounded like… a little kid?

"A-all right," I replied, a bit thrown off myself.

I hesitated— then, on an impulse, I closed my eyes, leaned down, and pressed my lips against Kai's forehead gently. His face turned fully as red as his suit. I pulled back quickly, flustered by my own motion, and then hurriedly left the room, not knowing what else to say.

As I made my way to the TV room, I passed Wu in the hall. And maybe the little detective in my head had been staying up too late, but I could've sworn I saw him eating a chocolate-chip cookie.

—

(A/N: aaaAAAAAH IT'S DONE *jumps off a bridge from embarrassment* Well… that's that "^^ I have a gazillion author's notes… where to start… oh yea, thank you all soooo much for following and leaving me nice reviews, even though most of you probably want to back away slowly now! X'D Sorry that I haven't responded to you guys like I usually do, but I kind of wanted to wait until the last chapter was posted since it, y'know, kind of completely changes gears and stuff. "^^ Tbh, I've wanted to write a touch-starved!Kai fic for a LOOOOONG time. You can thank/blame my internet friends for giving me the courage to actually do it. Also, as I mentioned in my first A/Ns, this story was originally going to be from Kai's point of view, but you can probably see why I decided to take a different route [I get flustered while writing so easily smh X'P] The title of the fic is supposed to be a pun on "a fighter at heart;" to "smite" can either mean to hit something with a heavy blow, or to be strongly attracted to someone or something. I thought it was a fun play on words, although I'm really hoping nobody takes it the wrong way :'3 Finally, on that note, if anyone ignored my many "NOT SHIPPING" tags and/or doesn't believe that platonic touch-starvation is an actual thing… FIGHT ME, PUNK. N-not because I self project onto Kai or anything,,, I've never done this in real life,,, that would be,, ridiculous, hahaha,,,,, *sweats nervously and runs away*) (Oh yea! Almost forgot: there's an incredibly angsty oneshot sequel to this but I'm not gonna post it on here because, y'know, angst [and also I wrote it late at night so there's probably a ton of typos]. If anyone's interested, I might take the time to edit it and post it as its own thing, idk.)


End file.
